My Big Debut

As some of you may know I've been taking bellydancing for a while now. Recently, I crossed over from the student world to the student-performer world.
Last weekend my teacher took a group of fifteen or so lovely ladies to an assisted living home to put on an epic show. To open the show we pranced around the room in a circle doing simple moves showcasing our startling beauty and brilliant costumes. Then there were four solos (i'll do a solo next time I promise) and finally my momemnt in the sun with the group doing our expertly choreographed drum solo. After knocking the socks off of every last resident with our wave of awesomeness we closed the show with a (I forget the name of it but we stood in a horse shoe while each dancer got to travel to the other end of the horse shoe doing any move of there choice.) I made my way across the floor doing the camel and ended with a spin. I imagine it must have been stunning.
You're probably wondering what I wore. Well I'll tell you. I had a long flowing yellow skirt, a black lace top and a black lace hip scarf. I even got all tarted up with painted toe nails and bright red whorish lipstick. It was pretty amazing. I've decided that it would probably best to live a life of glamour and excess but for now I've hung up my costume and rubbed off my lipstick. I imagine I will unearth it again someday.

Kiss my recession!!!!!!!

Recently my hours have been severely cut at work. I work for a big corporation that prepares taxes and they might do some other stuff too. They say the 'entire district is low' and they can't afford to keep their lowest paid employees which are the receptionists unless it gets freakishly busy. The receptionist, the smiling face at the front of the office that answers phones, makes appointments and manages the unruly waiting room monkies. At this point, the tax preparer has to stop what they're doing when the phone rings which irritates the clients they are currently servicing because they are not paying unreasonable amounts of money to have their tax preparer be a receptionist. Thus, they decide to take their taxes elsewhere the following year.
I thought that I was skillfully avoiding the shit storm that is our economy because I don't own anything of value, like a home. I was wrong. The shit storm has finally found a way to shit on me.

fruit for thought

Just yesterday i was staring intently at my fruit basket wondering about the origins of our language. I was looking at an orange and a banana wondering, what came first, the name of the color orange or the name of the fruit? I wondered, why don't they call babanas yellows? or why isn't the color yellow simply called banana? Orange is the only fruit with the same name as its color. Is this odd? Can anybody answer this for me? If so, leave your answer in the comment section. Thank you for your time.

In the kitchen...

As of right now I'm introducing a new segment to Great Achievements. A how-to of basic everyday things. Today i'm going to give away a secret recipe for soup. It has been passed down to me from myself through many generations. It's an instant classic, a family favorite and good for poor people. I call it Nicole soup.

Begin by sauteeing carrots, celery and onion in a large pot. While this is happening chop up any other vegetables you might have cluttering your fridge. Once the carrots, celery and onions are softish (oh yeah, sautee in olive oil if you must but butter is better) then put in other veggies. Let those cook, then add a can of tomatoes or fresh tomatoes, stir it around and then add stock. Whatever stock you have. Let it cook a little and then season with whatever you want as long as what you want is a shit load of cumin. Bon Apetit

P.s i would like to dedicate this posting to my mom, Liz and my boyfriend, Michael. Both are glorious cooks and today is their birthday. Happy Birthday you Piscean kitchen wizards!

men make people think that women wear funny pants

let me begin by saying that I have no problem with transvestites as people. But what I do have a problem with is their lack of fashion sence. I was just on my lunch break at the fancy market across the street from where I work. I was just taking a bite of cold meat loaf when I saw a man with long curly hair and a sparkly fitted tourquios top. Fabulous right? Wrong. He had paired it with parachute pants that appeared to be decorated with the galaxy. I was in such shock I could barely swallow my cold meat loaf! With all the glorious fashions and thrift store gems available to women (and men) one might think that if one would bother to dress as a different sex that one might want to do it justice. But if you don't want to that's okay too. I'm sure parachute pants are very comfortable. And by the way i'm a very tolerant person, fully accepting of all kinds of beauty and the glowing light within us all.

follow your bliss

I would like to take a moment for you all to congratulate me on my entry into the world of professional bloggery. That's right friends, i get paid for this now. I understand that it is the goal of many to make a living doing what they love. My advice to you is simply follow your bliss, even if that means following it home on a dark night while staying a safe distance behind it so as not to frighten it. Chase it like it owes you money, slept with your lover and made off with your junk. Even if it tries to file a restraining order, you tell your bliss that you won't take no for an answer and the law doesn't scare you. I forgot what i was talking about....oh! you're probably wondering how I pulled this off, right? Well, here it is: I work in an office and when the phone isn't ringing I don't have to do shit thus it frees up my time to follow my bliss at a humble rate of $9 an hour. Jealous?

I turn to my readers for help

Good morning! This is going to be a quick one. Today, I am going to be asking you, my readers for information. I know it's out of the ordinary but forgive me, I need your help.
Here is my pickle: I need to make money by May. You see, I would like to return to Morocco and do some more frolicking. Unfortunately this is not a charity mission otherwise I would simply ask for more donations for the N.L Malinoff Foundation. I need something on a par with selling eggs but a little less icky, also something that doesn't require one to have good genes, but something that makes about the same amount. Keep in mind that i don't want to do anything too degrading, but I'll go pretty low. You're probably thinking 'get a job you bum!' I'm one step ahead of you, i have one, but it doesn't start until January and it hovers only slightly above minimum wage.
For idea submissions please use the comment section of my blog. And for those of you that don't want to do it that way please e-mail me....um...something seems fishy about posting my e-mail address on such a public widely viewed page.... If you can crack this code then you can avoid the complex comment section: First letter of the name of my foundation + last name + yahoo.com. And please refrain from sending my information on how to get cheap meds or fake Rolex's or penis enlargement devices. Thank you for your time.