Dried Fruit: i guess it's actually o.k

I have been a loyal hater of dried fruit for as long as I can remember. I always thuoght, 'Why destroy something perfectly lovely just to haul it around in a gross back pack?' A few weeks ago I was introduced to the shriveled apricot and it wasn't completely disgusting! At that moment everything came into focus. Everything I had thought before was wrong. It was really a new day for me. When I started thinking of the things one could do with a dried apricot it was like the universe was opening up revealing the infinity inside. I imagine it was similar to what that guy was feeling when he invented the wheel.
Although I have come around to the apricot and I almost like dates, raisins are still really fucking stupid and no one will ever change that.

vandalism is bad.except for when it's funny. this time it wasn't

Last night while we were enjoying television and wine, a nice young man came to our door. "Do either of you own a green car out back?" It's Michaels. "I hate to be the one to tell you this but your passenger window is completely shattered." Sure enough the window had turned into glass gravel which now covered the seat and the surrounding ground. Nothing was stolen. We stayed up a while wondering why. For those of you who are not familiar with this vehical it's a green '98 chevy cavelier with an enormous dent. It doesn't exactly scream 'now this guy's got it made.' More accurately it softly whispers 'I work two days a week and I'm a full time student. ' This brings me to my next question. What kind of asshole would do something like this? The only way in which vandalism is justified is if it's funny. Feel free to express your discontent with words like poo, pancake or even assface spray painted on the side of some public thing. Or perhaps set up subtly falic displays throughout your work environment. Chalk is also a wonderful tool for any vandals toolbox. And one of my personal favorites is any sign with moveable letters. With that your options are limitless. Good vandalism is all about brains not braun. I'm sorry about your misplaced rage and all, but can't you just ignore it or something? Why do you have to be a big stupid assface by creating unnecisary expences for someone who can't afford it? I want you to think about what you've done. And for the love of God and all that is holy get some fucking chalk!