22.5

To many of you this is just an ordinary Saturday, but to me this is an almost special day. Yes, that's right. Today is my half birthday! You may think that birthdays don't come in halves but you are so wrong. Today I'm going to get out there and have a mediocre day. I'm going to light a half melted birthday candle and stick it in a muffin. I'll blow it out and make a wish and tell someone what I wished for. I'll buy myself a halfway decent gift and see if one of my friends will hand it to me. It will be kind of good.

parade of normalcy

I was recently verbally assaulted by a pale skinny woman on one of my days out and about in polite society. She was screaming the dangers of Johnny Cocheran at me which i did not appreciate. 'What ever happened to 'Good Crazy?' I asked myself. I have fond memories of being stopped by a smiling smelly man who just wants to take you out dancing or read you some poetry. It always provided me with just enough of a flavour of 'the street' to remind me that I was in a diverse town. But this lady left a bad taste in my mouth. Why must she rain on my parade of normalcy with her insane chatter? Doesn't she know that it's really disturbing? And why can't she take a lesson from the happy, well adjusted outcasts of society?
In closing, I would like to take a moment to personally thank the vagrants who make us smile. And to the vagrants who frighten us, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

cha-ching!

At this time i have been unemployed for over a month. But as it turns out I don't actually need a job. Yesterday I went to the bank to deposite a refunded rent check and to look at the status of my poorness. But to my delight and surprise I had about a thousand dollars more than i thought possible. 'but how?' I asked the peppy teller. she printed me out a record of all activity and it all seemed to match up with my fuzzy memory of spendings and winnings. I came up with two possibilities. One: I do math at a preschool level. And two: I have what is commonly known as a 'money fairy.' It is a similar idea to the childs mythological 'tooth fairy' only the money fairy is real and not nearly as cheap, nor does she ask for anything in return. I'm so honored to have been chosen to sit on my ass and take advantage of her generous spirit. Thanks Money Fairy! Keep up the good work.