Today I'm going to tell you about meat.....
Hi. I was a vegetarian for many years until I discovered how delicious meat really is. After that when I ate it I just sort of choked down the guilt. And it goes down smooth. Lately I've been toying with the idea of letting the whimpering vegetarian inside of me out into the world again. It made sense for a while as I was always a bit carnephobic when it came to cooking it or handling it in any way. Last night I conquered what I like to refer to as the Mt. Everest of meat. Yes friends, I cooked a steak and I cooked it good. Damn good. My culinary student boyfriend said it was a perfect medium. I oiled up the pan, laid down the slabs, massaged it with fresh sage and thyme and finally drizzled it with balsamic vinegar and put it in the oven for I don't remember how long. And guess what? I didn't use a recipe. After I devoured it and finished sucking on the hunks of fat that lay lifeless on my plate, I sat there drinking my wine and digesting, swollen with pride. I felt as though I had trapped and speared the great beast myself. And in a way I guess I did. The moral of this story is simply that I'm wonderful and if you want to be wonderful too just ask me how. Thank you for your time. This concludes my presentation on meat.