we are the health department

There's a little mom and pop operation here in town, (or rather sad man and quiet woman operation). The outside is painted green and white and has clowns and balloons and novelty sized candy displayed elegantly in the windows. The inside is very quiet except for the hum of some peppy 1950s pop music. It's like you walked into your sixth birthday party in 195o-something and nobody bothered to show up.
For the past few thursdays my dearest friend Alia (you may know her as the creator of 'The Alia Trip' and the reader/comment writer of my blog) and myself have made it a habit to begin our 'grand days out' at this very establishment. Last week we decided to do an experament where we placed a smeer of katchup under the napkin dispenser to see if it would still be there the following week. This would give us an idea of the sanitary nature of what we had been consuming. My dear, sweet, loyal readers i'm afraid i have some bad news; the katchup had not been removed. But don't worry, our constitutions are sturdy and we have not gotten sick. Either way, your thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated. It looks like we'll have to dine elsewhere from now on. i'm sad to leave what we refer to as 'the creepy clown place.' we had some good times there.
In other news, I joined a canadian rap duo called the fellowship of the bling. Although i'm not actually Canadian, i sure know how to rap like one. See you at the grammys bi-otch!